


Breach

by Uncollecther (AlltheB7)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Not A Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:08:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26479990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlltheB7/pseuds/Uncollecther
Summary: There is no easy way around whatever this was.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	Breach

**Author's Note:**

> It's not a happy ending, you've been warned.

Normally, Kara prancing around on Christmas was one of Alex's favorite things. There's just so much love Kara brought and gave to everyone, singing songs and dancing like the beautiful fool she was. It lightened her heart.

But as her sister twirled around in a new unicorn onesie, Alex was starting to get the impression that Lena was flexing.

On the floor at the other end of the coffee table, Lena sat. Turning her head from Kara, she smiled at Alex. On noticing this, Alex sucked in her cheeks and raised her chin. Fucking billionaire showing up and giving Kara just about anything the flighty alien could ever want. Lena had given Alex a sizing chart for a customized helmet. It was thoughtful, considering that Alex had gotten into an accident during an alien intrusion two weeks ago and her previous helmet had been damaged.

Lena's gaze moved intimately over Alex's face and the director settled hers into a neutral mask. It wasn’t that she's upset that Kara gets spoiled by Lena. It's not. Alex wanted all the best things for her sister. She did. But Lena _does_ spoil Kara.

By the seventh present, Alex could have crushed granite between her teeth. Kara was gasping at the newest Supergirl suit upgrade developed at L-Corp and Lena was laughing at her best friend's shenanigans, delighted to show Kara the new gadget. 

Alex could use a break, but she couldn't leave. She made herself a drink. 

* * *

Lena knew that patience had never been her strong suit. She had always barreled into just about everything: the garage project to cure cancer, starting up new projects at L-Corp, working on curing Sam. If there was a need, especially a dire need, it lit fire into her bones and she couldn't bear to sit still until it was burned out by a solution. 

So when Alex stopped dancing around her seven months ago and cornered Lena in the town car on their way back from the bar, Łena had hoped her patience with the director had finally paid off. That Alex's hands in her hair and under her shirt meant that they were finally on the same page.

Taking a long pull from the eggnog and watching the oldest sister all but glare at Kara, well, she could be a genius, but genius didn't change stubborn women. So much for being patient.

Łena couldn't help that Alex didn't like it when she showered gifts on Kara. She couldn't help that Alex wouldn't accept many gifts from Lena, either. Lastly, Lena couldn't help that Alex won't date her because she's a Luthor. 

Nostrils flaring, Lena breathed deeply and determined that she's going to enjoy their small celebration. And just because Alex perceived any relationship or gifts from Lena as a ‘conflict of interest’ with her director's position at the DEO didn't mean that Lena had to take it personally. 

So she didn't. She focused on giving love and affection to her best friend. It was an overcompensation. It really was too much and she knew it, but she wanted to put her energy into giving things to her favorite alien. No one was as joyful as Kara and Lena wanted to make her happy; to be the source of at least one person's happiness. 

Looking over Kara's coffee table, Alex's lips were drawn taut, face unreadable. Kara squealed and she looked over at the woman in her unicorn onesie opening the stealth tech Lena developed for Supergirl's suit. Lena laughed at Kara's big eyes. This would have to be enough.

* * *

"Oh cut the crap, Lena." 

"Excuse me?" Lena halted, hand hovering over her cup of wine. Game night had been tense the moment Lena walked in with bags of food for Kara and the super friends. 

"Alex..." Kara's voice warned Alex to back down.

"No no, Kara. Let Alex speak, she clearly has something on her mind," Lena's tone was more challenge than purr. Alex had been antagonizing her for the last three months. Anytime Lena gave anyone anything, Alex couldn't find the wherewithal to conjure any manners. Lena was _itching_ to get things out in the open.

The red-haired woman raised her beer, pointing "You're just doing this to grind my gears."

"That's rich" Lena drawled. "I do something you don't like and that means it's about you?"

Kara tried to catch Alex's attention and the rest of the crew sat motionless, mouths open. Lena watched Alex mentally ramp herself up.

"You practically bought every Disney karaoke album for Kara. And then you gave her three -- not one or two -- suit upgrades in the last 2 months. You can't buy people, Lena. Kara isn't for sale."

At this, the bubbling ire of her famed Luthor temper flashed up from her gut, scratching like hot coals under her skin. 

"Alex, quit it," Kara stepped in front of her sister as Lena closed the distance.

"Is that what you think?" Lena's voice deepened. 

"Hey, look at the time, I just remembered that I've got a thing to... do. At home. Love you guys, bye!" Winn stood up, patted Kara on the shoulder and gave her a _good luck with this_ thumbs up with grimace.

"You know, I am going to follow you out," James long-leggedly strode to the door, grabbing his scarf on the way.

Lena didn't take her eyes off of Alex. She really cared about her, she did, but seriously, she was also pissed. She couldn’t do anything without having her motives questioned by Alex. It was exhausting.

Thoughts whirring, she weighed her options. "Kara, it was nice of you to host game night, but I can see that I'm obviously not welcome. I'll call you tomorrow." With that, Łena pivoted. 

"No, Lena, wait --" Kara begins, following Lena to the entry.

Gathering her long jacket and scarf, Lena was out the door in record time with a peck on Kara's cheek. 

At the curb, as she was messaging for Laura to come pick her up, Alex burst out of the building. 

"What is it now, _Director_. Would you like me to submit my plans for world domination in triplicate, signed by Lillian and Lex? Shall I draw up my bath with the blood of virgins?" 

"Yeah, actually, that sounds great. But are you sure that you can reach that far up your ass for the paperwork?"

Whirling, Lena breathed deeply and gripped the phone in one hand while clenching the other in her pocket. "You know what, Alex, I'm done," Lena's eyes round, surprised at her own words, but continued. "I'm done with this, with wanting to prove myself to you and failing."

Straightening her body, Alex nearly snarled, "I have never asked you to do anything for me, don't even try to pin this on me."

"No, and that's the problem, isn't it?" Lena fired back.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I can't change your mind, I can't change my name, and I can't change that you're so far into polishing your damn title that I can't even treat you like someone I care about because _someone_ could find out that _Lena-fucking-Luthor_ asked you out on a date because she mistakenly thought --" realizing she was no longer in control of her words, Lena cut herself off as the painful prick of goosebumps shot embarrassingly up her arms. She was in Alex's face, neck tendons and veins popping. She clamped her mouth shut and raised her chin before exhaling loudly and turning away.

"Right," Alex countered. "I forget that it's my fault you've hacked into the DEO _multiple times_ , that you can't--"

"Someone had to save Sam, Director, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be your saint-ordained DEO. I did what I had to do save my friend."

" _And that's the problem, Luthor."_

"Oh, right, I forget that you're a brilliant boy scout and you've never done anything out of line to protect Kara. Cunt off, Danvers."

The sleek town car pulled to a smooth stop and Laura stepped out of the driver's side, guiding Lena to the back seat, eyes on Alex, assessing.

"Lena--" Alex deflated slightly.

Lena looked blankly up at Alex through the sliver of the open door before Laura closed it. What a waste of an evening.

* * *

"Alex, you owe Lena an apology," Kara hounded as Alex poured herself another cup of coffee.

"Uh-huh."

"I'm serious."

"I know." Sip.

"You know what? I don't even know why I'm bothering trying to reason with you." And with that, Kara walked away, shaking her head.

* * *

"Ms. Luthor is not available today, Director Danvers. You will have to schedule an appointment or leave."

Alex rolled her eyes. Jess had never been this cool before.

"Okay, fine. I'd like to schedule an appointment."

The petite assistant clicked through what Alex guesses is _not_ Lena's itinerary. "Alright, the next available slot is May 2nd, 7am."

"That's two months from now."

"I am aware of how calendars work, Director Danvers." Not ice: steel.

Alex rolled her head on her shoulders, drawing on patience she wasn't feeling. "Fine, put me down for May 2nd, 7am."

"Done. Now if you would be so kind, I have an engagement." Jess stared blankly at the lanky woman, waiting. The silent _Don't make me call security_ hung loudly between them.

"Of course. Thank you, Jess."

"You can call me Ms. Huang."

* * *

“What do you mean the levels aren't good?"

Alex rummaged through the cabinet, hands lighting and shooting off from container after container. Frantically, her eyes searched for the depressant, "Lena's body is in overdrive, we've got to slow it down."

"I'll freeze breath her like last time."

Alex could barely nod as she snatched the vial. "Do that," she commanded and looked up to Agent Rogers. "Rogers, I need Dr. Danvers, stat. Get the clearance set up. Kara, when you're done with the freeze, I need you go get Mom."

The air cooled as Kara exhaled. 

"I'm going to be moving her to stasis chamber, room 4." Alex eyed Lena's vitals as her body temperature lowered. The frenetic beeping slowed and Alex tapped Kara on the shoulder to stop. "There. You go get Mom, I'll take care of this."

* * *

Another poison attack because _of course_ Lex wanted her to understand he was displeased. Eyes thick like half-dry sponge, Lena took in the room and relative quiet.

It had been embarrassing to half-remember the delirium when she first came out of the stasis chamber. The anxiety that Alex had been there when Lena had poured her heart out to Kara, half-blind and on the verge of dying, Lena tripped sloppy apologies and aimless compliments about Alex. About how she missed the meteor window. Utter nonsense rambled on between half-conscious bouts of near-blindness and pain.

* * *

A low voice, muffled by distance. "Someone get me a dampener, I need to counteract the residual energy emissions."

It was so dark and cold. "Stop that and get out of the way. I need you collected. Take a breather, Johnson, call in Ngo, I need her expertise."

"Thank goodness. There." A swell of pressure on her shoulder and ribs. Sounds faded again.

Strong fingertips pressed along her forehead, adjusted, then lifted away.

Head caught between the stuffy compression of her ears, Alex opened her eyes. 

"Alex!" Kara's voice was loud, her heat seeping into Alex's right side. She was alive.

Rogers smiled from the doorway and gave a finger salute.

 _Why is she here?_ Alex couldn't remember. "Wha--" she coughed, throat seizing.

A straw propped against her lips and she struggled until it was tentatively between her lips. Tepid liquid pooled over her tongue and teeth. She almost dribbled it all out when she swallowed. Kara gently wiped her chin.

* * *

"I can go to the bathroom on my own, thank you very much."

Lena raised her chin. "You're right." And though she turned and left, a nurse came in and hovered, ready to assist.

Twenty minutes later, as Alex gingerly stuttered her feet from the stall, Lena brusquely walked back in, folder tucked into her elbow. She tossed the folder on to the bed. 

"Your medical papers. Once you sign them, you can take them and call Kara or the DEO to come pick you up. You're free to go."

"What? Are you serious?"

Lena's chin ticked to the side. She was quite a sight in the lab coat, shoulders squared, back straight. Proud. Defensive. It vaguely reminded her of Lillian, but it didn’t, not really. There wasn't anything imperious about Lena, just steely.

"Yes. Your condition is stable. You can recuperate in another facility."

When Lena left, Rogers frowned from the doorway.

* * *

Through some idiotic timing, they were waiting in the car lane for their respective transportation at the same time.

"Why did you do it." 

"For fuck's sake," Lena whirled, hands up. "What do you want? I've given you space, I have given you time, I have not given you gifts. I gave you thank you's and apologies. What else could you possibly want?"

Alex stood in silence, weighing the outcomes.

"Why were you the first on-scene?"

Clicking her tongue, Lena turned, shaking her head. "You're unbelievable."

"Tell me."

"I don't owe you anything."

Alex stepped closer. "You had a tracker in my helmet, didn't you?"

"I already said I'm not doing this."

"There's no way you could have gotten there that quick. Just tell me why?" Alex could feel her anger building. "What? Did you think tracking me would impress me? That it was the right thing to do?"

Slowly, Lena turned, resigned. "Alright. You want to know? I'll tell you. I put a tracker in the helmet. If it doesn't ping a cell tower every five seconds, it sends one to L-Corp. To my personal laptop. Yes, I was tracking you, Alex. And when the sensors pinged emergency parameters, I jumped at the chance to be your hero."

By the time she finished, Lena's expression was soft, almost wishful. 

The town car pulled up, and again Laura got out. This time she walked between Alex and Lena and squared her footing, eyes locked onto Alex's face as Lena closed the door. 

* * *

"You know you could have thanked Lena."

"What makes you think I didn't?"

"Because I'm..." Kara bumped into Alex's shoulder "your favorite sister. And I know you."

"You're my only sister."

"Precisely. I do everything, we never split sibling duties."

Alex nods, conceded that there is a point in that. It had always been all-or-nothing between them.

"So. How was the date last night?" 

"Are you trying to change the subject?"

"No. I am changing the subject. You said you had a hot date last night. How was it?" Kara had been talking about this date for the whole week.

Kara deadpanned her. "Seriously?" 

When Alex raised her brows, Kara breathed a put-upon sigh, rolling her eyes. "Fine. It tanked. She wasn't into me."

At this, Alex's brows raised. "She?"

Kara deadpanned Alex again. 

Things clicked in Alex's brain. Kara went out on a friend date with Lena. "Seriously? You went on a date with Lena?"

Kara shrugged. "Why not? Lena's..." Kara got this dreamy look in her eyes and Alex considered leaving in the middle of their sister's night. Just... walk out of her own apartment and into a void.

"You can't seriously be trying to make me jealous." Alex intoned.

Brow dropping down, Kara focused her eyes on Alex. "What? No. Lena is my favorite person, Alex. After you, of course. But she's like, the best. Did you know she developed red sun lamps for me? So I can--"

"I don't want to know, Kara."

Shrugging, Kara continued. "Well, it doesn't matter anyhow. She's not into me." Kara drew a long breath, wistful again. "And I mean, we _really really_ tried to make it work." Her alien sister propped her chin on her hand and dazed into the hallway. "I really like her, Alex."

* * *

All-in-all, it had been a rough year. But what was a rough year without reminders that it could get worse?

Alex had gone to the local queer bar to get out of her head. Shoot some pool, flirt a little, maybe find someone for quick fun. Nothing disrespectful, just no strings fun. Saturday nights were always the busiest and she gently meandered her way to the bar. Someone jostled her and she bumped into the person next to her.

"Sorry," Alex raised her voice to be heard above the din.

The woman in the Colorado hat turned her head. Recognition, then--

"Hah!" Laughing a moment, the CEO cocked her head to the side, eyes alight with humor. "Just my luck."

The dip in her belly curved when Lena's perfume drifted over. Lena wasn't in CEO mode. She was dressed in a cropped jean jacket and chucks. Alex raised her own eyebrow. "Let me get you a drink."

Looking her dead-in-the-eyes, Lena raised her tumbler of whiskey "No." Once the glass tipped up, then away, mod-painted lips twisted. “Wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea."

With that, Lena turned to the bartender, handed over more cash than was necessary, and leaned forward to speak low something to the tall femme's cheek. The bartender slid her gaze to Alex, barked a laugh, took the cash. Sitting at the bar, waiting for something, the younger woman's profile cleaved harshly in the neon lights.

The clatter of two bottles of IPA startled Alex. Looking up, Alex saw the bartender raise an eyebrow and smirk. Confused, she looked down at the bottles, then back to the bartender.

Winking, the woman smiled and nodded towards the bottles, indicating they were for Alex. 

Lena shimmied her way off of the barstool.

"Wait--" Alex touched her elbow.

"Look." Lena stepped close, too close. "Unless you're taking me home so we can mutually fuck each others' brains out, I don't care. I didn't come here to _talk_." The green eyes danced in front of Alex, challenging and mocking.

Łena smirked again. "Didn't think so." 

Alex turned back to the bar and the beers. Looking up, the bartender winked again and leaned forward.

"What did she say to you?" 

The woman smiled soft. "She told me to look out for you." 

Frowning at her beer, the bartender thought she had the same thought "I know, as if you can't take care of yourself." It was flirty.

* * *

"Lena, wait--"

Snorting, Lena dropped her hands, the energy of her frustration dissipating. "Look. I left so you could have a good time, okay? So.... go back inside."

"Why were you first on-scene in March?"

"This again? I never took you to be inane _and_ obtuse, Alex. This is disappointing."

Alex had taken the helmet to Winn.

"I told you, already. I was tracking you." The press of tendon as Lena angled her head to look down the street.

Alex stepped closer. "No you weren't."

Lena's eyes flashed to Alex's. "What are you talking about?"

"You didn't have a tracker in the helmet. It was an emergency beacon that only activates when impact sensors are triggered."

The woman licked her lips and turned to look the opposite direction in the street. Facing the opposite side of the street, Lena stood resolute as a centurion.

Alex sidestepped until she was next to Lena, both looking across the street. "So."

Flexing her jaw, the CEO impassively stood. 

"I'm sorry, Lena."

Taking a breath, Lena jutted her jaw to the side, eyes downcast. 

The balmy air stirred and a raucous throng of women left the club.

"I'm really sorry, Lena."

Alex waited, standing next to Lena. Lena took a deep breath and exhaled through her nose. The dark hair moved.

"Are you going to go back in?" Lena dead-eyed her.

"Um, no. I--uh--"

“Alright then." Turning on her heel, Lena strode back into the club.

This year really sucked.

* * *

Tapping her fingers on her knee, Alex looked around the waiting room of Lena's office. Lena had been consulting with two projects and Alex needed to iron out details. The appointment from way back in May had been rescheduled three times before Alex had given up on trying.

Ms. Huang typed sporadically at the desk, studiously attune with her tasks. The chitter of keys stopped, the assistant looked up.

"Ms. Luthor will see you now."

* * *

Carefully, Alex approached her desk. Eyes flitting up, Lena had perfected the skill of seeing without looking. She sucked in her cheeks and took a deep breath. The woman still wore cargo pants. No more vest, though. Desk duty, she figured. Running her tongue over her top teeth, Lena pushed the images of Alex's long neck and figure to the side.

"Hello, Director." Lena gestured to the chair in front of her desk. "We need to go over scope of work, yes?"

Tapping the stylus, Lena looked down at the tablet. Everything was in order, the remaining agreement to terms was the only thing left.

"Yes, we do," Alex agreed as she sat. "But first, I'd like to--"

"Apologize?" Lena arched an eyebrow and Alex nodded mutely.

"I should have--"

"You know, Director, I have already heard your apologies. I have." Lena stopped, considering her words carefully. Alex was Kara's sister. She couldn't go off on the woman without collateral.

She started again. "At the beginning, this," a stylus moved between them "was about working together, protecting the city, trying to do what's right. Even when we didn't see eye-to-eye, I trusted you because Kara trusted you. And when I got to know you, I trusted you, too. It felt... good. Friendly." _Like something better than friends._

She wet her lips "And this" another smaller gesture "is about all of that, still. But without the conflicts of interest anymore. I trusted you--with my work, with my friendship, with--" Lena inhales and looks down. "Well, I trusted that even if I put myself out there that you would still respect me."

"Lena--"

"It’s Ms. Luthor, now." Lena's nostrils flare. "The reality of what this is now, is that I am not good enough." [tap tap tap tap] "Not for you, at least." At this, Lena arched her head back and relaxed her hand on the armrest.

"In the interest of science, and National City's safety, I will work in collaboration with the DEO. With you, Director. But I need you to understand something before we continue because I am not going to have my work undermined."

"...Okay. I'm listening."

"Apologies don't fix the past. I worked with you before you apologized, and I comported myself in a professional manner afterward. I tried being social with you before you apologized. Do you know what that says about apologies?"

Lena stared directly at Alex, eyes hard. "It says that apologies don't matter to me. I will do what's right because I'm selfish. Because I care and I don't do it for any other reason than the fact that I care. I do these things because I want to do them, I do them for me." The glare from her eyes could cut glass.

"And yes, perhaps you feel guilty in hindsight. But your apologies don't change what has been irrevocably damaged. I trusted you before. But I cannot change that you did not trust me before, and more importantly, that you would not hold trust in me given the slightest push."

Setting both hands on the desk, Lena sat straighter. "I grew up surrounded by people I could not trust. I cannot control that. But what started as a simple wall between us, Alex, became a breach. Would it be fair--to me--to put me through that gauntlet again?" Lena's eyes were hard. "Would you be able to trust me even if things looked bad? If there came allegations, would you be willing to work with me and to let me explain?"

"No," the whisper drew like thick yarn across her lips.

"At least you're capable of being honest." Lena handed over the tablet. "Here are the scopes of work and bids. Terms are the bottom. Please review them with your legal team and scientists before signing. Any counter offers will be reviewed similarly. You may contact my office anytime if you have any questions. Should any conflicts or concerns arise, protocols for investigations and mutual assurances will be enacted in good faith. I look forward to future work with the DEO."

At that, Lena stood and smiled at Alex. "It is a pleasure to be able to work with the DEO." The lie rolled off her tongue smoothly and she gestured towards the door. 

"Of course," Alex nodded and stood up carefully.

Unwilling to give the woman another opening, Lena closed the meeting, "I believe that is all for today, Director." She tapped the console for Jess to escort the Director out and exhaled once the women were through the door.

**Author's Note:**

> I originally planned this to be a crack Christmas fic. Clearly I have failed. Hate me.


End file.
